It has been almost a week since we heard the devastating news that IVF did not work. I am so happy that I have such an amazing God so that I don't have to travel this journey in darkness. Because of Him I know that this is not the end. Because of Him I am not living in darkness after learning the news. Because of His love I am given strength, comfort, and clarity. Though I do not have all the "why" answers I cannot imagine going through something like this without Him. He knows the bigger picture. His plan is bigger than mine will ever be! I have always been praying that this IVF journey was His plan! I prayed that I would be on His path he as for my family and I. I know that God answers all prayers! We felt His presence and saw his answered prayers through each step of the way! The IVF expenses were much lower than we were originally quoted. Each appointment I heard nothing but "everything is perfect." At the egg retrieval we got 13 eggs. From that point I prayed for the perfect amount! I prayed that we would be given the perfect amount of embryos! I didn't know what the perfect amount would be. We prayed and prayed and prayed and God gave us 5 very good quality embryos. The doctor said she has never seen this good of quality of embryos before... let alone FIVE! Was five really the perfect amount??? If 5 babies was what God intended and 5 was the perfect amount then that is what it would be! We continued to pray as 2 embryos were transferred. We prayed for God's plan that it would still be this path. God DOES answer prayer! His answer may not always align with what our plan is but he does answer prayer. God has told us that 5 was not the perfect amount. It is not time yet. This week as I fell into darkness on Monday I felt his hand reach down and pull me out. He has surrounded me with so many wonderful people who love and care for me and my family! We have received countless messages of encouragement and Jinae and Beth provided a couple meals for us as we gathered our emotions. Austin has been so awesome. He was so sweet and told me that I don't need to be sad but that it is ok to cry if I want to. He would ask me if I am doing ok. He would hold my hand and sit on my lap and give me hugs. I have continued to pray and while I don't know what the bigger plan is, I have comfort in knowing that He does and whatever that will be I will follow!
We still have 3 very good quality embryos just waiting to get their chance! Perhaps 3 was the perfect amount? I don't know. But I will pray about it and trust in God and His plan.
So moving forward:
Ryan and I have an appointment on March 3rd to talk to the doctor about our options as we move forward. She will talk to us about FET, Frozen Embryo Transfer. It is a procedure that costs much less. ($2200) The medicine for FET is a lot less as well as I won't need to have nearly as much. My body won't have to go through as much with FET since they don't need to retrieve any eggs. I don't know when we will do FET but I know that God will lead us to His path for us!
Thank you for continuing to pray for us!
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